Friday, October 17, 2014


Had not been blogging for a quite some time, and had been feeling that I need to trash out all that clotted my mind. Am I expecting too much? I feel that my soul is out from me for a long time, I couldn't find the passion I used to have in me, no aim, no expectation, no destination....I feel so lonely even if I'm surrounded by people. As years goes by, the fear in me is getting stronger and stronger. I know I should stay positive, but I just couldn't help.....

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Sending 2013 off and welcoming 2014

Guess it had been more than 8 years I need to work until the very last day of the year, but I am not complaining at all. Indeed I'm glad. Looking back, year 2013 had been a great year to me with goals achieved and new surprises too. I am glad that I got a chance to learn investing (and yes investing & not speculating) in the share market through Equities tracker after all these years of wanting to do so but doesn't know where to start. Finally I am building up my investing portfolio slowly, one step at a time. This year too I had been doing more baking other than the forever cheese cake, with biscuits, tiramisu, mille crepe etc.

Other than that I manage to change my 7-yeared old car.
and continue dreaming about my 'dream car'

Got my 2nd camera, a lighter semi-pro digital camera, Sony Nex-6 after 3 years of thinking about it.

And I managed to make 2 trips overseas this year and still coping alright with my finance. Manage to compile our 1st book of the trip together, and will continue the next few as one of my main project in 2014.

Also, this is the year when I had make the most expensive purchase in my life so far - an apartment to continue our journey together after all the hoo-hah that had been going around to secure a loan...

And not forgetting to continue cooking delicious dishes with my partner...
Overall, this had been a good year to me, with ups and down and full of memories. I'm eager to go onto 2014 with more challenges. Although it might be a tough one, despite all the price hikes, I hope year 2014 will bring me and my family more joy and fun. Not forgetting also to hope the coming new year to give all of us the courage to face all the challenges and sail through 2014 smoothly.

Monday, July 15, 2013

What you can learn from travelling SOLO

An interesting article to share from the author of The Solo Traveler's Handbook, Janice Waugh .....
.... travel is an education. And travel helps put your formal education in context. You learn about countries and cultures afar. And, as you do, you learn about your own country as well. Travel solo, and you also learn about yourself. Here are just five personal discoveries awaiting you on a solo trip.

1. Discover who you are when no one’s looking
At home, people have expectations of you. They expect you to act in a certain way. Subtly, they control your language, likes and dislikes, laughs and reactions. This is not necessarily a bad thing but what would happen if they disappeared? Or, more likely, if you left their influence for a bit. By traveling solo you can find this out. You get to experience the world your own way, discover who you are and settle into being more solidly you.

2. Uncover your real interests
Traveling solo, there is no need to compromise so you can do what you want. You can go where you want, when you want. Doing so, you’ll uncover your real interests. Do you have an unrequited passion for something? Maybe it’s cooking, museums, flea markets, watching football...? With no one in your way you can explore your real interests.

3. Learn self-confidence
Self-confidence cannot be taught but it can be learned through experience. As you navigate a new city alone, go to a restaurant and eat alone and/or connect with people at a hostel and spend the day together... as you explore the world solo and discover how capable you are you gain self-confidence.

4. Realise your resilience
Traveling solo, you alone, are responsible for handling all the challenges that come your way. Like self-confidence, as you face these challenges you learn that you are capable of handling them - that you can figure your way out of situations, whether it is by asking for help or asserting your needs. Traveling solo, you’ll learn how resilient you are.

5. Know that you are in charge of your destiny
As you travel solo and you get to know yourself better, grow in confidence and understand your resilience, you will soon realize that you are in charge of you. Because you’re capable, your destiny is in your hands. Seize it. Yes, with every trip you’ll discover more about yourself. Traveling solo, you’ll grow as a person.

Give it a try....I wonder when I could do that again.....

Thursday, May 2, 2013

What is your B.A.N.K code?

Attended a small workshop today talking about deciphering the personality code of a person/ prospect you met, so that you can close the deal more easily by understanding them beforehand. When we say about closing deal, it's all about SALES. You might loudly defended that "I am not a sales person, sales got nothing to do with me" But in fact, each and everyone of us "are" involved in sales, indeed everyday. Why do I say so? Sales equals to Influence. Think deeper, when you are saying "I am not a sales person", aren't you in a way or so, selling yourself to the audience, trying to influence them that you are not a sales person? When I'm in my 20s, I used to say that line quite often, "I'm not a sales person", and I had avoided myself in however ways to be involved in sales. Only until when I get older, I started to realize that it's in us everyday, and everyday we are selling ourselves to the others. Just that a lot of us doesn't realize it. Back to the BANK code, it is related to 4 categories of personality and values found in the people around you. B stands for Blueprint - involved people who like things to be nicely plan and predicted, A for Action - for people who like fun, and straight to the bottom line, N for Nurturing for people who care about human relationships and act with heart, and K for knowledge - is for people who likes to analyse and decide with logics and facts. Listening to the speakers analyzing what each categories values are and how one can tackled the way we communicate with different personalities category in order to catch their attention in less than 5 minute, I'm now so anxious to apply all these to the new challenges I might be venturing into after election. Hoping that all goes well. Let's hope.
So, what is your B.A.N.K. code according to your priority?

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Sunday, August 5, 2012

We are still proud of you, Dato Lee CW

That's such a close match!!! Although Dato' Lee Chong Wei didn't win but the spirit that he had been holding until the end of the match touches all of us Malaysians. Checking my Facebook right after the match and found out that fellow facebook friends are so fast, everyone had been posting the results and even the still photos grab from the live telecast! Imagine the power of Facebook. This photo got over 20k hits of likes, 1500+ hits of comments and 8k+ of shares all just at a short period of 15 mins.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

What I have been up to this year?

This year so far is not a good business year for me. Had been having too much of free time. However, I'm still being positive, hoping that it's preparing me for a busy life for the next quarter of the year. Had been trying to learn some baking to pass my free time. Baking cakes, not the sweet type with pancake mix. Tried one with the readymade and found that there's too much baking soda and artificial fragrance in it. On the second time, I decided to mix my own pancake mix found from this website , quite a good one.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Walking my dream... 2012....

These few days had been bothering me a lot. Worrying about my future, worrying about my how can I survive myself for the rest of my life, worrying this and worrying that. Hadn't had that insecure feeling for so long and now it's all coming back. I'm not sure whether it's right to walk my dream now, when I'm not so well prepared yet especially financially. However sometimes I ponder, if not now, then when.

Came across this article in a blog, which struck my mind and answer my frustration - maybe my forever insecure feelings come from too much of expectation.

On this very last day of 2011, my resolution for the next year 2012 will be to eliminate my expectation so that I can be brave and confident enough to step forward and walk my dreams without hesistation.

Life is just like a poker game. Why bother worrying about what card you will be drawing next, winning and losing is just part of the life.


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

i SMURF u!!!

Just finish having fun with the little blue smurflings. Honestly, the trailer haven't been giving me the urge to watch this movie, especially when it's a combination or real life with 3D. One reason is I'm still attached to the past memories and I'm worry that it would spoil my beautiful childhood memories of smurfs that I'd have.
Well I'm half right and half wrong. The movie hadn't been able to take me back to the same old feelings that I had when I watched them before, however it gave me some different insights. Kind of like the message that it tries to portray. 'Every single moment is just like the blue moon, once in a lifetime - appreciate every single second of your life as it won't come twice. '

Now I wonder where can I find the old 2D cartoon of my smurfs, la la la la la la, anyone?

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I'm getting my life back!!

Am going to claim my life back in 3 more days. Hadn't been quite myself. Everything just go so slow and doesn't seems to have any challenge for me. What's left instead is the anger that is created when people just doesn't seems to care about their job, or should I say, why do I have to be angry on people ignorance. Hence, I decided to leave this, decided not to be angry on other's ignorance any more. Just let them be.

I'm not sure what's the next step for me. Just have a guts feeling that I should put everything to halt now, rather than just thinking to change but haven't yet. This had been dragging for years. I need to do something different NOW!

Friday, November 26, 2010

How professional are you?

Was chatting with one of my co-worker yesterday in a discussion about the whole production environment in Malaysia. Was debating over the issue of professionalism vs. versatility. In here, we are all expected to be an all-rounder, we were all taught to be an all-rounder ever since we studied in school. Ever since one came out to these social university, every boss expected their employee to know everything under the sky, the more the merrier. In that case, they wouldn't have to spend extra to hire another person to do the work. However, whenever we said that to the specialist overseas, the only remarks we got is "You are not professional enough in your career" But whenever you tell a boss that you only specialized one skill, the remark you will get "You are not versatile at all."

So when reality kicks in, what's your pick?
Professionalism OR Versatility

Sunday, October 24, 2010

I'm back..finally

I had been keeping quiet ever since I'm back from UK. Not many people knew about my return, especially my relatives. For the past 4 months, I hadn't had anytime at all to catch up, to organize my photos from my last trip....tonnes of that due to the project that I had been involved in since I touch down. Well, now everything is over, and one last step and I should be able to totally put them down and never ever touch it anymore. But you still have to wait for me to start digging out the photos and to edit them before I could post it up here. Stay tune....

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


I'm supposed to be happy at this moment but I'm not. I did not know why I still stay on, I kept thinking the whole day yesterday. I only know I am still here just because I had made a promise, other than that I can't find any reason why I must continue. 1 more month to go. Can't I just be a irresponsible one just for once and walk off like that? I'm so mentally tired....

Tuesday, June 29, 2010


It's always harsh to be back in reality. Only 2 months back to KL and I feel like running away again. I know I told myself that no matter how hard it is I need to face it with all might. A friend told me I might look tough outside, but I'm very weak in there. I totally agree with it. I do not know how long I can stand this being in the situation of a 'sandwich'. I'm really too tired. Not physically but mentally....

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Back to reality

The moment I stepped out from that flight, I'm surrounded by metals and concrete. No more of small streams, greens and white cottages. 14 and a half months passed so quickly. Looking at the places that i had been to and the friends that I had made past half the globe, I'm glad and relieved that I actually spent these time doing nothing except travelling and taking my time to relax. Back to home is kinda weird for me, everything in front of the eyes seems a bit too bright. Mainly because British or European house decorations tends to have small little things around the houses with woods, bricks etc, but back in KL everything is so minimalist and white. No more of bright cloudless blue sky and no more of sunset at 2200 and no more of twilight. Everything should be back on track once again.

I swear my mom did not email my bedroom photo to me

Last sunset in UK

Nasi briyani on the flight - finally the true malaysian flavour

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


The homeless journey doesn't really homeless at all. Instead I was greeted with generous hospitality by friends. I'm glad and grateful for all the help.
Walked little Hannah to school this morning and she had a class presentation performance to the moms in accordance to the Mother's day this coming Sunday. It's amazing kids if her age at 5 could learn so many things as compare to us last time. They performed a play, songs and dance-song performance too. Surprisingly her class teacher is a guy, which seldom you will find male kindergarten teacher in Malaysia.

This is one of the performance clip dedicated to the Supermom.

Found a series of posters at Hannah's school reminding the children:

Stop. Look. Listen. Think. Do.

How many a times do we stop our paces to look, listen and think before we continue moving? It's not easy to do the first three even, don't you think so with our busy pace of life?

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Thing that occupied me for the year

Over the past year, being here in UK give me easy access to library with lots of free books to read. And with the lots of free time that I had, I have read the most books ever in my life within a year. Among all, the author that I like is Cecelia Ahern. Her words are so touching and intriguing. To share some with you on this book about friendship

"She had reached her goals by being in control, maintaining order, not losing sight of herself, always being realistic, believing in fact and not dreams, and above all applying herself and working hard. Her mother and sister had taught her that she wouldn't get anywhere by following wistful dreams and having unrealistic hopes....Alone because love was one of those feelings that you could never control. She had loved before, had been loved, had tasted what it was to dream and had felt what it was to dance on air. She had also learned what it was to land back on the earth with a cruel thud. She had learned not to lose control of her feelings again.

Imagine not meeting someone because you loved them so much. Imagine hurting someone, making them feel lonely, angry and unloved because you think it's the best for them. ...all were possible, but with possibility comes impossibility.....

When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shutters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall in makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks it's completely silent. You would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it's silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain. If there's a noise, it's internal. It screams and no one can hear it but you. It screams so loud your ears ring and your head aches. It thrashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea; it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken. That's what it looks like and that's what it sounds like, a thrashing, panicking, trapped emotions. But that's the thing about love - no one is untouchable. It's as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water, but whe it actually breaks, it's silent. You're just screaming on the inside and no one can hear it.

We saw the heartbreak in each other without having to talk about it we both knew. It was time to stop walking with our heads in the clouds, and instead, keep our feet on the harder soil of ground level we should always have been rooted to.

All her life she had run from shedding light on those darkened corners of her mind. The cobwebs and dust had settled and now she was ready to start clearing them. Something was trying to crawl out of that darkness and now she was ready to help it. Enough running.

She thought long and hard about nothing and everything, allowing whatever was niggling her mind to have a chance to step out of the shadows and show itself. ....she caught sight of her reflection in the glass of the conservatory and froze. Gone was the composure, gone were her emotions, she looked like a possesed woman hiding from the truth, running from the world.
And then she knew.
And the memories that lurked in the dark corners of her mind began to creep ever so slowly into the light.

At least twice a year we met special people who consumed out days and nights and all of our thoughts, and each time with each person, we had to go through the process of losing them. Opal liked to teach us that it wasn't us losing them; it's a matter of them moving on. Without having any control, any ability to make her hold on to me, to still see me, she was slipping though my fingers. What did I win? What did I gain? Every time I left a friends I was as lonely as the day before I met them, and what do our friends get out it?
A hapoy ending?
Remember the detail, Opal always tell me. I supposed what had changed in her life was her mind, the way she was thinking. All I had done was plant the seed of hope; she alone could help it to grow. And because she was starting to lose sight of me, perhaps that seed was being cultivated.

It's not anyone fault that I don't feel I fit in. It doesn't matter where you are in the world because it's about where you are up here, ' she touched the side of her head lightly. "It's about the other world I inhabit. The world of dreams, hope, imagination and memories. I'm happy up here,' she tapped her temple again and smiled,' and because of that I'm happy up here too.' She held out her arms and displayed the countryside around her...She spoke aloud to herself, her voice was firm and confident.

'To hell with you all. I do believe.'

Life is made up of meetings and partings. People come into your life everyday, you say good morning, you say good evening, some stay for a few minutes, some stay for a few months, some a year, others a whole lifetime. No matter who it is, you meet and then you part. I'm so glad I met you. I'll thank my lucky stars for that. I think I wished for you all of my life. But now it's time for us to part.

No matter how hard you try to wrap yourself in cotton wool, you can still hurt yourself.

With every cloud there's a silver lining but, the truth be told - and I'm a firm believer of the truth - for a while I was struggling with my experience with Elizabeth. I couldn't figure out what I had won, all I could see was that my losing her was one big black stormy cloud. But then I realised that, as every day went by and I thought about her every second and smiled, I knew that meeting her, knowing her and above all loving her, was the biggest lining of all.

Ekam Eveileb.
Make Believe

~~~ excerpt from "If you could see me Now" Cecelia Ahern
Ivan elbisivni & Elizabeth

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Soul cleansing time....

Am trapped in a cafe while waiting for the rain to stop out there. I have nothing with me except my iPhone. So I decided to pen down some thoughts here while waiting.

Have you ever seen yourself, whom you used to be in the past on someone else? Have you ever seen your present self among your friend? What I meant here is in terms of the personality and character. I had and have been seeing these for the past whole year at my stay in UK among the people and friends around me. Recently, I had been in deep thoughts, having my private and silent days all to myself. As I'm finishing my working holiday soon and in search of my next steps, I had been talking to myself a lot. I'm not getting crazy here talking to myself or trying to be in any self-pity mode to be alone, I just wanted some personal time to deal with my emotions, my inner self. I told my roommate that it had been so weird lately that pieces of memories in the past ten years just suddenly struck my mind out of no where, without me asking for it to recall. And most of the time, they are the places that I had been or people that I had met but they are not anything significant in my life. Roommate was laughing at me asking if I doing some sort of mind defragmenting. I sort of like this idea - Mind Defragmenting. I guess it's the time to dig out all the memories that lies dormant and subconsciously in me for the past 10 years. It's just like recalling them and to arrange them accordingly, the wanted ones, the unwanted ones, the important, the not so important, etc for a cleanse of soul. I regretted I hadn't been doing this much much earlier as I realized I don't really have any private time of my own while I'm in KL. All the time, I'm either worried for my job, worried for whether I'm able to secure on any next project, having family pressure, worried about this and that. Being here alone in a foreign land, give me time and space away from all these. To me, the main purpose of the whole trip is not about travelling. It's about searching myself again, putting me back in confident to face myself again which over the years all things had make me losing them bits by bits without me realizing it. Deep down in there, I think I'm about ready to return with the courage to take up further challenges. I promised myself that I will finish all the unfinished that I had put myself into, to stir up my passion again in things that I like and to give myself a second chance to try everything again in my life and most important to make mistakes. All these while, I had been too careful in dealing with my life, afraid to make mistake, till I missed the chance to enjoy the process. I'm glad I had friends that are frank to me on this past year to tell me what they think of me, to lead me indirectly to face myself again.

p/s: I am still in the midst of exploring more and am interested to know what do you think of me in the past, or at present. Friends out there, please give me a shout, be it good or bad, I will take it with an open mind.

Friday, February 19, 2010


been doing nothing for these 2 days in the room, listening to music, reading novels, reading blogs, living in my own little world. It hadn't been so relaxing in my world so far, to be able to do nothing. Been introduced to a site to watch movies online, and manage to catch a touching movie - Hear Me. It's a Taiwanese movie, about a girl who's normal in hearing taking care of her sister who's deaf and supporting her dream to be the best swimmer. Yet she herself was mistakenly thought she's deaf too by another guy. And the story evolved on how both of the pair started with this misunderstanding and how he fell for her. 90% of the movie is silent, no dialogues spoken except sign languages and subtitling. Yet, yet, it's as powerful as words spoken. And it touches me on the message that it wanted to send.

Love & dreams are both something miracle,
one can feel it without listening,
without spoken words and without any translation;
as long as you are ready for it.

Are you ready for your dreams?

Monday, February 15, 2010

1st Anniversary for me!!

Haaa, sounds like marriage anniversary. Don't get me wrong. I'm neither married nor I'm attached. It's just the day when it marks my existence in UK a year ago. Time flies so fast. Last year this date was still fresh in my mind when I'm flying across the ocean, excited over this Working Holiday Visa in UK. And now, it had been a year since I am here in UK. 2 more weeks before I met my quota of working in UK and after that I will have to live with my own savings in UK without able to work anymore. Had gone through a lot for this whole year, meeting lots of people from different walk (not really a lot), different culture and learning from each and everyone of them. I would not dare to say that I'm now a better person, but at least, I had learnt something about myself, see things about me that I was refusing to know all these while and decided to overcome it. For the past few weeks I had been struggling on thinking what's best for me after this. Thinking whether I should live up to others expectation or to my own. Although I hadn't have a very concrete answer to all these, I know I'm on my first step to overcome my own obstacle by deciding to take up the challenge to do something that had been a 'taboo' to me all these while. I'd tell myself, give myself another 6 months to live up with my own expectation and if I had ever fail again, I will have no regrets after this. Wish me luck!

To think about it, this is my first year not spending CNY with my family and friends. Feeling kind of weird. Anyhow,

Gong Xi Fa Cai/ Kung Hey Fatt Choi & Happy V day!!!
May you be blessed
with abundant health, wealth and lots of luck!!!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

You gotta be creative even when you're dead in Milan!!!

My first ever trip to Europe - first one Italy started back on Sept 9th, 2009. I know it had been months since I am suppose to put these photos up. Had been very busy after the trip as more trips had been coming along =). First destination, Milan. Many will say there's nothing in Milan, just a fashion city, as I'm not a fashion person, it could most probably be boring to me. Well, since I had that extra two days before I meeting up with my friend in Venice, I still gave it a go to make a trip there, at least I could loudly say I had been there. And unexpected experience came when you least expected it.
Not only this is my first ever trip to Europe, it's also the first time I had to spend overnight on an airport bench, and bear in mind alone too. The experience was not that bad after all. Ride on the earliest flight the next morning to Milan reaching there around 11 in the morning. It's a bit excited and at the same time scary for me too being alone in a foreign country and moreover a country where less or no English direction is available. Due to this, I had spent at least half an hour wandering in the train station trying to find where's the connection to their metro. Tried to ask someone but they can't speak English and kept giving me directions in Italy which obviously I couldn't understand a word. Spent more than an hour plus before I manage to get myself to the hostel which it's only suppose to be 15-20 mins metro ride, if only I could find the station earlier. Highlight of the two days trip in Milan was the cemetery (yes it is, it's the most special one that I had ever seen). Passing through cemetery had been a norm for me since the place where I'm staying now in Littlehampton, everytime I need to walk to the town, I will have to pass through one. It's not scary at all since they are very well kept and tidy. What's so amazing about the cemetery in Milan? I never expected myself to visit a graveyard during holiday. Just so happened that the moment I got the city map, one of the few city attractions is Cimitero Monumentale, and since I have two full day here might as well I go visit it after reading the guidebook that I can find a 3D Last Supper over there. And unexpectedly it's a large cemetery, and each graveyard is unique with their own different sculpture. Some are even massive like a whole building, housing all the deceased family members. Another unique thing that I had discovered in Milan is their building architecture. The outer facade all looks similar with balcony and windows, but once you step in, passing through the passage door, you will be come to a courtyard.It's similar to the feeling of a 四合院 in China. Photos explained better with that. And the hostel that I had stayed is still using an antique elevator, it's so small that only one person with a luggage can fit it. Being alone travelling also let me had a chance to know new friends from the hostel. We even had a wonderful dinner in a bar in Milan experiencing their "Aperitivo" - Milan is the native city of the Aperitivo which means you order a cocktail at the happy hour (special price) and you can eat for free as much as you like. Made friends with travellers from Barcelona, China and Switzerland. Had fun chatting with strangers all night.

Find the whole Milan album here

Next destination will be on Venice, not sure how long it will takes this time......

Thursday, February 4, 2010




Sunday, January 24, 2010

An extraordinary artist

Three of us who came from Malaysia got invited last night by a co-worker, Sally in my job-place for a pizza dinner. I get to know her only for like 3 months ago when they warehouse start hiring more workers to cope with the Christmas period orders. Honestly, I didn't get to know her well since when she started working in the warehouse, I was in the midst of my holiday in Central Europe with Mei. A remarks I get to know from my roommate was she's a miniature doll maker , running her business at home. Until yesterday, when I went to her house for the dinner, only I got to know bit more about where she comes from-an extraordinary artist of its kind i would say. This is the first time for the past whole year that I had got the chance to visit a real English home, to interact with an English family. After the dinner, we had a tour of their lovely house. Sally's family welcomed us so warmly that they show us each of every rooms in their house just openly without fearing that it's an intrusion to their privacy. At that moment, I was thinking even we Asian wouldn't have welcome any friends whom we had just known for 2 months to their houses and showed them everything open-heartedly. The most interesting part of this gathering was when she showed us her working place, where she makes her miniature dolls for the dollhouses. Looking at the miniatures, I was in awe how detail she can go making the dolls clothes, hair even animals like dogs, sheep etc. While she was showing us the vast materials that she has in order to make those dolls, all neatly organized in cupboards and boxes, I can feel her strong passion in what she's doing. Even her husband and children have been very supportive as well as are interested in that hobby too. She told us she has been doing this for 20 years, most of the time she got her inspirations of making different characters through characters from the kid's program, or even teddy bears.

For years, I had been forgetting what I used to like or what I used to dream of. I can't even answer a simple question on 'What's my dream?' Sally's passion towards what she likes left me thinking for the whole night: Where had my passion gone to all these years?

Friday, January 1, 2010

Last entry for the year 2009

It's 7 hours till the new year begins. 2009 had been and exciting year for me. A chance to step foot in the foreign land, moreover to travel to Europe countries that I had been dreaming of. It was also filled with all sorts of happy, sad, anger, Loneliness,friendships etc emotions. Like the Chinese saying 应有尽有. First time ever in my life too I experience a white Christmas in a European country, watching the snow fall in front of lovely cottages. What else could I asked for other than gratitude for what had been given to me. A year of relaxation and no stress for me. My only resolution for the coming year is to move on, to come out from fantasies and back to reality. Hopefully 2010 will be as good as this year with good health to all my families and friends too. Happy New Year 2010!!!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

知足, 珍惜, 遺忘

Found this from a friend's FB status, quite like it, hope you like it too.

懂得知足的人找到《快樂》; 懂得放下的人找到《自在》;
懂得珍惜的人找到《幸福》; 懂得放心的人找到《輕鬆》;
懂得遺忘的人找到《自由》; 懂得關懷的人找到《朋友》

One will find Happiness if one learns to be content; One will find Comfort if one learns to let go; One will find Fortune if one learns to treasure; One will find Relaxation if one learns to be relieved; One will find Freedom if one learns to forget; One will find Friendship if one learns to be caring.

Dear friend(s),
Have an open mind, and an open heart
to face the ever changing world.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Happy Birthday to me!!

Stepping into another journey of life, it's a happy one to start with.
The most presents that I had ever received over the years, and the most 'red eggs' that I had eaten too, 3 to be exact.
Thanks everyone for the wishes, and thanks to my friends/ buddy/ colleague for the wonderful presents.

Made a wish on the day of my birthday, although it doesn't happen on that day, but it sort of comes true on the next day. Although till now I have no idea where it might leads me to, but I am already satisfied enough at this point.



Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Tourist or a Traveller?

Read this in one of the guide book while doing research for my next trip. To share with you the excerpt,

" Why on earth should you go out of your way to try some sport or activity you've never heard of or will never do it again? Why bother with the slow, less comfortable modes of transport?.....
Because if you're not doing something new, you're doing something you've done before. If you're not taking local transport, you're taking Western style transport........It's often the inconvenient and uncomfortable elements that give travel its extra dimension, and separate the Sphinx in Las Vegas from the one in Eggypt, ....and tourists from the traveller."

totally agree with it, to travel is to get some new insights rather than staying back in your comfort zone. Just finished my 11 days Italy trip and I had a fabulous time. I haven't got time to sit down to organize the photos yet since I had been busy moving house and planning for my next trip real soon. Please bear with me for a month or two before you got any photos here. I'll try to see if I can put up some kind of sneak preview before I go for my next trip.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

September..a busy one...

Someone had been complaining of me not updating my blog lately. Sorry folks as September is quite a busy month for me. Well, it started off with not a very good sign having sweet dreams for the whole night. Friend was curious having me complaining about sweet dreams. All my entire life, things dreamt always happen by the opposite in reality. Although in the dream, everything seems so real; I doesn't wish to have more of it as I wish it is true in reality and not mere dreams. Well, well, I just have to start my September anyhow.

Today, a weird and funny question was being asked when me and my roomie went for house viewing. Yes, I will have to shift, and this time house rather than just room. Landlord is having problem maintaining the flats with only 2 double rooms rented out and suggested that we move to his other flats in another area which is 20 mins walk away or we pay higher rent. Back to the funny part, most double rooms here are furnished with double beds and the landlady just popped up with a question asking "Are you both partners?" when she show us the room with that double bed. I startled for awhile trying to figure why would she asked so before I answer "No". Then only I realized she wanted to say there's only double bed in the room instead of 2 single. Sometimes people just tends to come up with a conclusion too quick on what they see.

6 more days before I fly off to Italy. Getting excited. Can't wait for that =)

Sunday, August 16, 2009

60 years....

How could a couple manage 60 years of marriage together? That's the first thing I think a lot of people will be asking. Me too, when I heard one of the regular customer of the restaurant which I part time in having their Diamond Marriage Anniversary celebration over there today. And both of them are still so healthy and loving. Salute to them. There's one thing funny about human relationship. In one end, couple can live together in harmony and lovingly for more than 60 years, in the other end, some couples can't even break through their Paper marriage anniversary! Human relationship can be so strong and yet they can be as weak!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

tick tock....tick...tock....

Just realized from the ticker that I had been here for 6 months already.....gosh.... Another 5 month plus before I can't earn money to survive myself here. Finally starting to plan my holiday after all these while. First stop, Italy! After researching, I think Italy is one of the expensive country to travel around. Expected to have a big hole burnt in my pocket. But bother, at least I'm still able to earn now, rather hit the expensive one first and go for the budget one later. days are's short.....time to move on.....

Saturday, August 8, 2009

August!! August!!

August have just started and it's already filled with lots of unexpected 'events', sad one, happy one. Let go the sad one, the happiest one is my sis just gave birth to a pair of twin girls yesterday!!! And I'm still yet to have a peek at my nieces. Dad sounds so happy today when parents told me about the happy news through skype today. And I still coping with being an 'aunt' before I stepped into my big '3' very soon. Sigh!!! Suddenly feel very old now. Am wondering whether my nieces will recognize me a not when I see them one year later.

August also should be the month I visit London more often for an internship in a film office which they are running a program for the teens to create documentaries for the Olympic 2012. Unfortunately, things are always not as I wish, or should I said 'never' as I had wish. After being just one day in the office, and the planned called off as they aren't able to afford my train expenses weekly. Now I'm back to square one, having too much free time if I'm not working. Maybe this is a sign to ask me to move on, to start planning for my holiday!!!! Hmmmmmm.......where should I go first? Germany? Italy? Austria?

Saturday, August 1, 2009


Having mixed and complicated feelings while writing this post. Recently had been receiving too many of bad news, sad news around me. And tears just trickled down without me realizing all these while the pessimist in me never stop haunting me. Is this really the symptom of being a middle child? Having split personality, one minute I can be very happy, another minute I can relate to something sad and feel moody for the whole day. Not knowing what's the next step should I take, I'm heading nowhere; I'm lost....

Monday, July 13, 2009

London Revisit 080709 ~ 100709

Revisit to London after two months. Main purpose to London this time was to visit my pregnant friend, Irene and we hold a small gathering in a Malaysian restaurant, SEDAP. It's Penang nyonya style and the food was not bad. Most of the chinese restaurant here in UK follows Hong Kong/ Cantonese style even though some are opened by Malaysian. Hence, it's a blessing being able to taste authentic Malaysia food right here in UK. This trip up to London was fulfilling, in terms of my craving for food. Apart from the Malaysian food, Siew took me to a Spanish Restaurant on the first night. Nice environment and accompaniment with nice food. Siew said I must be a European in my previous life that makes me craved for Western food rather than Chinese food. I kinda agreed with that as even in KL when I was to bring my mum for food outside, I'll choose to go to a Western restaurant, be it Italian, German etc rather than a Chinese restaurant. Just thought that there's a lot more other countries food that I haven't tried. Now, in addition to the long lists, two more down. To-date, I think I had tried Italian, German, Belgium, Spanish food, and hoping for more different one to come =). After our dinner, Siew took me to a special ice-cream shop where they have the ice-cream made to looks like spaghetti, lasagne, fried eggs etc. We had one of the Chocolate Lasagne.
Ah, forgot to mention too, I finally got myself a Starbuck Ice Blended after 4 months. Missed those time in KL that I can easily drive up to Starbucks with my laptop and enjoy my ice-blended there for hours. Got myself a Dark Berry Mocha Blended, something different from what I can get in KL, taste not bad though and the price is almost the same as a cup of coffee in other cafe in UK, around 3 pounds.
To sum it all up, here are the photos.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

You make my Day!!!!

This morning, when I was out walking to the swimming centre crossing through the residential area, I got lost. With a map in hand, the first thing to do is to refer to that. Unfortunately, the map is quite a brief map with only the main roads, that explained why I can be lost. Just as I seem so helpless, a voice came up asking if I'm alright. To my surprise, there's a lady in her 40s stop by her car and ask me if I need any help. At that spur of the moment, it was such a great relief. People around here have been so nice. How many a time will you stop at a tourist and ask whether they will need help. How many a times will you smile to a stranger on the road. It's just amazing how a simple human touch make me feel that I'm not alone here, even if I'm surrounded by strangers. Recently, I realized how I can be easily contented. A simple phone call or a simple note of care already can make my day and put a smile on me whole day or even days. I just would like to say, thank you for making my day!!

Have you make someones day today? Or have someone make yours? Tell them and I believe this is contagious and it will definitely put a smile on each other for the rest of the day.

To whom who have been reading this, thank you for giving me the support there and I hope I had make your day too!!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Desire Path

Just finished reading the book 'Thanks for the memories' by Cecilia Ahern, a sweet and nice story of how two people without crossing paths get connected. In that book, the author mentioned about Desire Line/ rather a Desire Path.

As defined, Desire path: A term in landscape architecture used to describe a path that isn't designed but rather is worn casually away by people finding the shortest distance between two points.

To my interpretation, this should be the path where we ourselves chose along our life, and the path changed every seconds on every decision made. I strongly agree to the concept of this and think everyone should have one on their own rather than letting yourself to walk on the path that had been laid down by someone else. Thinking back, maybe I hold too strongly on my own desire path, maybe you think I'm rebellious. But I wouldn't think I will enjoy walking on a path created by someone else to get to a destination, I could and should choose my own way to get to the point I wanted. Although sometimes you might say those are the proven shortest route to the destination; although sometimes the path I took led me round and round and I might take a longer time; but it's the process that counts more than the results right? I have no idea right now where my desire path will lead me to, but I am willing and ready to take the challenge to pass through every obstacles that occurs along the path......

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

In other words, create your own Desire Path!!

Saturday, June 6, 2009


Working in the warehouse had given me the opportunity to think a lot. Why do I say so? Cos everyday since early in the morning, although the hands are non-stop repetitively working, the brain doesn't process at all on what the hands are attending to. Everything is just like a routine. And this is the best time for me to be alone; with my own thinking, talking to my own inner self. Recently, I had been reading on a book entitled 'Thanks for the memories' by Cecilia Ahern. The words in it quite pictures the situation I'm going through right now. Living in my own thoughts, diving into my own past memories, reasoning out those unhappy ones and moving on, reminiscing those happy ones.....I guess sometimes, things happen for a reason, be it good or bad, it makes us a tougher person. To share with you....

Sunday, May 31, 2009

5 days out of reality...

A sneak preview before I bombard you with my fabulous 5 days =) Part of the album here ...

Friday, May 8, 2009

My promised past week update

** Gosh, apparently I fell asleep while typing this for the first time and mistakes are all over. Here you go with the ammended one....

19th April 2009 - My first week of volunteering in East End Film Festival started with a very early train to Victoria. Although it had been tiring at work for the past few days, having the first breath of fresh air walking 30 mins to the town to catch the train was indeed a mind refreshing one. Train passed through a few calling stations before reaching London Victoria. The places around south england countryside had weird names such as Shoreham-by-sea, Durrington, Ford, Goring-by-sea, etc.

Some scenic view from the train....

As for the film festival, I had been helping them with flyering and some office work for the first week. Also had delicious Belgium food with Siew which I had blogged before.

27th April 2009 - It's raining hard while rushing time to catch the train to London in town today. Being in UK, although raining here is only drizzling, but it's rapid and dried away fast due to the dry 'air'. This was the first day in UK under the rain that I had to use a raincoat. Reaching the train station, exhausted, then only I found out that the train was delayed due to some technical problem in one of the stations. While waiting, I got a chance to had a long chat with someone on the train who's from Sri Lanka and had been working in UK since 2002. I asked him about the places of interest around South of England and he recommended me some which I will try to make my holiday there. Later on also he told me about how beautiful Sri Lanka is but he can't be able to live there due to the political situation over there. He mentioned that there's one hotel in Sri Lanka that has a pool with water source directly from the waterfall, and you could imagine how cooling and refreshing the water could be. Also there's a place with 7 wells, each with different temperature, some is hot, some are cold, some with different color etc, and best thing is they are not man-made. There's also a mountain that you could climb up to the top and sometimes you can see rain pouring from your feet down to the earth while it's dry up there at the summit. Sounds interesting and makes me want to visit there some day. I was surprised myself that I can actually talk to strangers. I remembered a few years back while I was in Singapore, a friend asked me whether do I talk to stranger when I'm on flight or on the bus. I remembered very clearly that my answer to her was 'NO' at that time. This time, my travelmate asked me again when I mentioned on my chat topic in the train to her. Thinking back, I'm shocked too. I actually did change. But I find it quite nice to chat with someone you do not know without having any commitment putting on each other. I guess I'm also like what rainstorm said, I put trust on someone until someone betrayed the trust, as long as no harm is done during at the point of conversation, why not?
Going into the Film Festival Office for the 2nd time, I got the chance to meet some real Britons and see how they work. I had been helping them in the office for 3 days consecutively with the designing of layout for their closing night brochures. Being in the office environment, see how they solve problems, it's indeed very different. Some of the 'colleagues' seems like knowing the whole festival in and out for the fact that they are also volunteers like me, and they only got into the office 3 weeks ago. It's amazing the speed that they pick up at work. And when problems arise, seldom blames are put on, but instead worked together to solve the problems. It's quite fulfilling also when I was stationed at different cinema around East London each day for different screening which enables me to see different part of the city where I hadn't been before, as those are not tourist attraction places. And isn't that what my main purpose is - to see the cultures and places that is not the main tourist attraction but instead the real Britain. One of the screening put up documentaries of the old London in Rio Cinema, Kingsland, London. The screening is free for all over 50s year old people and the whole cinema was having full house in that afternoon. Most of the 50s were accompanied by a carer/ several carer in groups. There's quite a lot of job opportunities of carer over here in UK in fact, taking care of the old, and some even on disabled people. Even guys in mid 30s become carer. One of the difference between London Cinema with Malaysia's is each cinema is equipped with a nice bar/ lounge for the customer to linger around before they go into the cinema for their movies. During the festival, I managed to catch some documentaries which some are quite good with mind boggling on the question/ issue/ message that was conveyed. I haven't got a chance to snap any pictures as I'm on shift and not able to bring such a big SLR around. Maybe I should start thinking of investing on a small digital camera...

There goes my 2 non-stop busy weeks; work, volunteer, work, volunteer.....tiring but fulfilling one. I'm glad I realized some improvement in me after all these years; I'm glad that I'm able to volunteer at my own expense, which means that I still have the ability to earn =)

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Something true - C'est La Vie

转载 : 人生就是这样吗 ?‏


拼命的读书,好了读完书了。大学也毕业 了。
拼命的做工,赚 多多的钱。。。
拼命的存钱 ,买房子,车子,保 险

拼命的灌输孩子要努力读书 。。

孩子忙着读书 ,不得空理你。。

孩子和你拿钱 。


开始害怕失去工作,开始留意年 轻同事。。。

房子! 还是和你要钱
车子旧了,开始不听话了。。。还是要给钱! 妻子也是一样和你拿钱,旦绝对没有收条给你看。夫妻要信任


就要拿公积金咯!但是孩子要出国读书-- <>







毕业=失业 , 工难找! ,最后找到一份只可以养活自己的工作。还是要住在家里。。。吃,交通。去的薪金的一大半。。所以只是意思意思的给 RM100给父母做伙食费。。

3年过 去了,孩子好不容易累计的工作经验,薪金高了。。。但是却开始要买辆汽车代步。。。母亲帮助 + 自己储蓄,给了头期。。。有了汽车,费用也多了。。还是意思意思给 RM200作伙食费

好不容易的工作开始稳定了,但是却认识了一个女朋友。。。开始了人生计划。。。要 买房子了。。。

由于车子+ 女朋友费用太大,还是不能给伙食费太多,而且女朋友说 3? ?计划,全部钱要储蓄。。。

2 年后,终于买了房子,买了房子,开始要结婚了。。。


摆酒,婚礼,旅行。。。用了一大笔+ 母亲储蓄+我剩下的公积金


结婚了后,孩子很少会来了,忙着自己的家庭。。。偶尔假日才回来看看父母。。。每个月意思意思的给 RM200 。孩子自己也困难了。要维持自己的家庭

好了,30 年前的计划希望能够开始,旅行!!

大事不妙,媳妇怀孕了,生了个孩子。。。母亲代抚养,因 为媳妇孩子都做工


孩子每个月意思意思的给多RM300 ,当着是孙子的伙食费 。。。

照顾了5 年后,孙子大了,孩子抱回去了,一切回归平静。忽然想起 30 年前的约定,决定和妻子去旅行。。。。







愿你健康平安喜乐 :-)

Monday, May 4, 2009

Feeling down...

Yesterday was my best friend wedding and I'm not able to be there to share her happiness. Was still alright while chatting with her online while she show me her wedding videos and photos. Not until the last video that I had seen and it made me cried. Timing is always wrong for me and her on her wedding, and even her registration day 3 years back. I never got the opportunity to be there.

I feel bad.

Let me mourn for a day before I update my blog about what I had been busied on these 2 weeks....

Dearest Mei, congratulations on your big day and hopefully the present that's flying in the air now will find you both love to last an eternity...

Monday, April 27, 2009

Running out of Ideas....

It's the most tiring time when it comes to meal time. Living in UK now, I have to prepare my own meal for each and every meal as still can't afford to 'pack' from outside as it's very very expensive. Most of the time during lunch at work I'll just prepare sandwiches with ham and sausages. Simple and easy. But when it comes to dinner after work, I hang out quite long in the room, not knowing what to cook for myself. That explain why I only had my dinner at 9pm or 10pm everyday. As everyone knows, I'm not someone who like to cook...haha, Having bought some frozen vegetables, some ham, chinese mushroom, tuna in a can, most of the time, I'll just fried rice, or cook them with pasta and mayonnaise. Or even porridge with vegetables pickles. Now that I have had those food rotating for 2 months, I'm starting to get bore with them. I need to think what to cook tonight.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


These 4 days off are so far the most fruitful one I have had since I came here. Had been volunteering in a Film Festival Office in London from Monday. Met up with some locals British, interact with them, I quite enjoy it. Frankly speaking this is my first time in England that I had truly interact with the local. As I told you, most of the time, friends that surrounded me are either my primary school mates, or colleagues from Eastern European.
The first day I was there, I was to help them flyering leaflets and putting up posters on a busy streets. They gave me their film festival shirt - a short sleeves t-shirt to wear during the flyering. And that's the very first time I had ever wore a short sleeves t-shirt in London or even UK. Although it's already spring, with sunshine, but it still colds when the wind blows. Surprisingly, I survived. Maybe because there're a lot of people on the streets that make the surrounding warmer. And the next two days, I am in the office helping them on whatever the team needed. The actual film festival only start this coming Thurdays and volunteers will have to be involved in the front desk, ursherer etc. Hopefully this is a good start for me to gain industry contacts in UK.

Besides, Siew gave me a treat in a Belgium Restaurant in Covent Garden called Belgo Central. According to Siew, their mussels are the most popular one. Both of us had Fruity Belgium beer (4.3% of alcohol). I had the strawberry flavour and Siew had her banana flavour. It's just like fruit juice and doesn't taste like beer at all. Didn't get drunk, but feel very sleepy after that. We shared a main course of Lamb Shank and it's delicious. Tried parsnip, a turnip like vegetable (the outlook of it). Love the taste (it taste a bit sweet and a little crunchy) and will get that for my next home-cooked meal =) Waiting for Siew to pass me the photos on her phone and I can upload them. (Click here for the photos - 5 mins after I type this I got the links from her, we have telepathy don't we? heee) I owe both you and Irene quite some meals...keeping finger cross hopefully I could be able to give you a big one soon.

Can't wait for the actual days of Film Festival next week now. London here I come again soon!!!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Devil's horn growing!!!

This morning, our supervisor asked all new comers to be at the front stations when doing checking and packing of products as he wanted to evaluate how fast we can check (scanning of products and putting into different packs according to order). The target is 220 units per hour. Before this, I had never achieved this rate, the most I achieved was 180+ units per hour.

Let me explain the checking process. One boxes is one order. And each order includes a few customers orders. When doing checking, we scan each products and put them accordingly into assigned locations. One location is one customer. After sorting the products for each order into locations, we had to pack each locations into one bags each. And those bags are to go into one big boxes to be dispatch to the main consultant (it's just like direct selling with a consultant selling products to customers at home). After a few weeks there, the tips to get that 220 units per hour is to do orders with as much units at one time. Normally the packing process is slow, depends on how many bags we need to pack into one big boxes. Hence, to have a higher checking rate, it will be good if we can have more units in one order and fewer locations. And only the front few stations people gets to choose which boxes they wanted to do, as the boxes reached them first. And all this while I am always the unlucky one to be assigned at the last few stations. And those boxes that came to me, were usually the 'unwanted' ones from the front stations, which were mostly only few units per order with many locations.

Well, since I need to survive in UK with a job and some money at the moment, today since I get a chance to be at the front few stations, no matter how unwilling I am, I have to become one of them to "snatch' the big order boxes. And for the first time, I got a check rate of 219.39 per hour. But it's definitely not a good feeling for the whole day. So sorry for those who are at the stations after me. But I have no choice, I can't afford to get kick out from the job at the moment, not until I get a proper one.

I feel so devilish.....the horn will continue to grow for the next few weeks until i pass the challenge.......ish.....

Monday, April 13, 2009

Easter Monday

Went over to Brighton this Easter Monday. Easter here is not a big celebration here. Without any public festivals celebrations. According to a friend, easter is just for the kids, to hunt for hidden eggs/ chocolate. However, it's a long holiday for all British including the weekends. Bear in mind, UK has a lot lesser public holiday (they called it bank holiday over here) as compare to Malaysia. Hence this 4 days are regard as long holiday for them. Also, living in a small town, I had to bear with having less access to public transport. There's only one bus running from Littlehampton to Brighton daily at an interval of 10 mins. The cursing part is on Sunday and Public Holiday, the bus only come once in an hour. And the last bus from Brighton back to Littlehampton is at 4pm. Obviously, I didn't manage to catch the last bus. And there goes my journey taking bus to Worthing (half way of the journey) and train to complete the other half. Luckily the train still operate till late, and most importantly it operates during Public Holiday.

Visited Brighton Museum and Art Gallery. Nice sunny weather. It's getting a lot warmer but at times when there's wind blowing, it's still cold.

Got this from one of the art book found in the Gallery.

"The way we see things is affected by what we look at"

"To look is an act of choice"

Do you choose to

to perceive?
to understand what lies beneath?

before you came to a conclusion on what you see?

Friday, April 10, 2009

Ignorant. A bliss or a Curse?

People always say ignorant is a bliss. But to me, it might be a bliss to you but it is definitely a curse to the others. Because of someone ignorance, another had to clear up the mess for the someone. That's why I think it's a curse to the others.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

I love my name, Yikyu!!

After all these years, since I'd graduated from the Uni, I am glad that there's someone who can actually pronounce my name right and use it to call me. Yes, call me by my actual name and not my nick or initials, and in fact he's an English. He's my supervisor in the warehouse. Today he told us (me and my friend) that our names are the easiest to memorize and pronounce as compare to the others. For your informations, the other colleagues mostly are Polish. Hence, you can imagine the weird english names they have, even I can't pronounce them properly when I read their names on the sign-in sheet.

So, friends out there, can I have my name back?
Don't ask me again for my initials or English name/ nick name,

can ah?

Sunday, March 29, 2009

I lost an hour time!!!

Daylight's saving started today, meaning we had to move our time an hour later. That means yesterday night I lost an hour of good sleep. Now UK time difference with KL is just 7 hours behind.

Had been starting on a part time waitress job in friend's chinese restaurant for the 3 days. Find it hard memorizing the dishes in English, at the same time to put it down on order for the chef, I'd to translate them to simple Chinese. Hence, having hard time translating between them. Also, as I'm not a regular drinker, I find it hard to learn all the wine, liquor name as well. There's a lot to learn. But I'll take it slowly, but learn it fast in order to be on track.

Oh, I still missed my 1 hour time !!! =)