Am trapped in a cafe while waiting for the rain to stop out there. I have nothing with me except my iPhone. So I decided to pen down some thoughts here while waiting.
Have you ever seen yourself, whom you used to be in the past on someone else? Have you ever seen your present self among your friend? What I meant here is in terms of the personality and character. I had and have been seeing these for the past whole year at my stay in UK among the people and friends around me. Recently, I had been in deep thoughts, having my private and silent days all to myself. As I'm finishing my working holiday soon and in search of my next steps, I had been talking to myself a lot. I'm not getting crazy here talking to myself or trying to be in any self-pity mode to be alone, I just wanted some personal time to deal with my emotions, my inner self. I told my roommate that it had been so weird lately that pieces of memories in the past ten years just suddenly struck my mind out of no where, without me asking for it to recall. And most of the time, they are the places that I had been or people that I had met but they are not anything significant in my life. Roommate was laughing at me asking if I doing some sort of mind defragmenting. I sort of like this idea - Mind Defragmenting. I guess it's the time to dig out all the memories that lies dormant and subconsciously in me for the past 10 years. It's just like recalling them and to arrange them accordingly, the wanted ones, the unwanted ones, the important, the not so important, etc for a cleanse of soul. I regretted I hadn't been doing this much much earlier as I realized I don't really have any private time of my own while I'm in KL. All the time, I'm either worried for my job, worried for whether I'm able to secure on any next project, having family pressure, worried about this and that. Being here alone in a foreign land, give me time and space away from all these. To me, the main purpose of the whole trip is not about travelling. It's about searching myself again, putting me back in confident to face myself again which over the years all things had make me losing them bits by bits without me realizing it. Deep down in there, I think I'm about ready to return with the courage to take up further challenges. I promised myself that I will finish all the unfinished that I had put myself into, to stir up my passion again in things that I like and to give myself a second chance to try everything again in my life and most important to make mistakes. All these while, I had been too careful in dealing with my life, afraid to make mistake, till I missed the chance to enjoy the process. I'm glad I had friends that are frank to me on this past year to tell me what they think of me, to lead me indirectly to face myself again.
p/s: I am still in the midst of exploring more and am interested to know what do you think of me in the past, or at present. Friends out there, please give me a shout, be it good or bad, I will take it with an open mind.
Have you ever seen yourself, whom you used to be in the past on someone else? Have you ever seen your present self among your friend? What I meant here is in terms of the personality and character. I had and have been seeing these for the past whole year at my stay in UK among the people and friends around me. Recently, I had been in deep thoughts, having my private and silent days all to myself. As I'm finishing my working holiday soon and in search of my next steps, I had been talking to myself a lot. I'm not getting crazy here talking to myself or trying to be in any self-pity mode to be alone, I just wanted some personal time to deal with my emotions, my inner self. I told my roommate that it had been so weird lately that pieces of memories in the past ten years just suddenly struck my mind out of no where, without me asking for it to recall. And most of the time, they are the places that I had been or people that I had met but they are not anything significant in my life. Roommate was laughing at me asking if I doing some sort of mind defragmenting. I sort of like this idea - Mind Defragmenting. I guess it's the time to dig out all the memories that lies dormant and subconsciously in me for the past 10 years. It's just like recalling them and to arrange them accordingly, the wanted ones, the unwanted ones, the important, the not so important, etc for a cleanse of soul. I regretted I hadn't been doing this much much earlier as I realized I don't really have any private time of my own while I'm in KL. All the time, I'm either worried for my job, worried for whether I'm able to secure on any next project, having family pressure, worried about this and that. Being here alone in a foreign land, give me time and space away from all these. To me, the main purpose of the whole trip is not about travelling. It's about searching myself again, putting me back in confident to face myself again which over the years all things had make me losing them bits by bits without me realizing it. Deep down in there, I think I'm about ready to return with the courage to take up further challenges. I promised myself that I will finish all the unfinished that I had put myself into, to stir up my passion again in things that I like and to give myself a second chance to try everything again in my life and most important to make mistakes. All these while, I had been too careful in dealing with my life, afraid to make mistake, till I missed the chance to enjoy the process. I'm glad I had friends that are frank to me on this past year to tell me what they think of me, to lead me indirectly to face myself again.
p/s: I am still in the midst of exploring more and am interested to know what do you think of me in the past, or at present. Friends out there, please give me a shout, be it good or bad, I will take it with an open mind.
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