.Stop.Look.Listen.

The homeless journey doesn't really homeless at all. Instead I was greeted with generous hospitality by friends. I'm glad and grateful for all the help.
Walked little Hannah to school this morning and she had a class presentation performance to the moms in accordance to the Mother's day this coming Sunday. It's amazing kids if her age at 5 could learn so many things as compare to us last time. They performed a play, songs and dance-song performance too. Surprisingly her class teacher is a guy, which seldom you will find male kindergarten teacher in Malaysia.

This is one of the performance clip dedicated to the Supermom.





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Found a series of posters at Hannah's school reminding the children:

Stop. Look. Listen. Think. Do.

How many a times do we stop our paces to look, listen and think before we continue moving? It's not easy to do the first three even, don't you think so with our busy pace of life?

Thing that occupied me for the year

Over the past year, being here in UK give me easy access to library with lots of free books to read. And with the lots of free time that I had, I have read the most books ever in my life within a year. Among all, the author that I like is Cecelia Ahern. Her words are so touching and intriguing. To share some with you on this book about friendship

"She had reached her goals by being in control, maintaining order, not losing sight of herself, always being realistic, believing in fact and not dreams, and above all applying herself and working hard. Her mother and sister had taught her that she wouldn't get anywhere by following wistful dreams and having unrealistic hopes....Alone because love was one of those feelings that you could never control. She had loved before, had been loved, had tasted what it was to dream and had felt what it was to dance on air. She had also learned what it was to land back on the earth with a cruel thud. She had learned not to lose control of her feelings again.

Imagine not meeting someone because you loved them so much. Imagine hurting someone, making them feel lonely, angry and unloved because you think it's the best for them. ...all were possible, but with possibility comes impossibility.....

When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shutters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall in makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks it's completely silent. You would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it's silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain. If there's a noise, it's internal. It screams and no one can hear it but you. It screams so loud your ears ring and your head aches. It thrashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea; it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken. That's what it looks like and that's what it sounds like, a thrashing, panicking, trapped emotions. But that's the thing about love - no one is untouchable. It's as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water, but whe it actually breaks, it's silent. You're just screaming on the inside and no one can hear it.

We saw the heartbreak in each other without having to talk about it we both knew. It was time to stop walking with our heads in the clouds, and instead, keep our feet on the harder soil of ground level we should always have been rooted to.

All her life she had run from shedding light on those darkened corners of her mind. The cobwebs and dust had settled and now she was ready to start clearing them. Something was trying to crawl out of that darkness and now she was ready to help it. Enough running.

She thought long and hard about nothing and everything, allowing whatever was niggling her mind to have a chance to step out of the shadows and show itself. ....she caught sight of her reflection in the glass of the conservatory and froze. Gone was the composure, gone were her emotions, she looked like a possesed woman hiding from the truth, running from the world.
And then she knew.
And the memories that lurked in the dark corners of her mind began to creep ever so slowly into the light.

At least twice a year we met special people who consumed out days and nights and all of our thoughts, and each time with each person, we had to go through the process of losing them. Opal liked to teach us that it wasn't us losing them; it's a matter of them moving on. Without having any control, any ability to make her hold on to me, to still see me, she was slipping though my fingers. What did I win? What did I gain? Every time I left a friends I was as lonely as the day before I met them, and what do our friends get out it?
A hapoy ending?
Remember the detail, Opal always tell me. I supposed what had changed in her life was her mind, the way she was thinking. All I had done was plant the seed of hope; she alone could help it to grow. And because she was starting to lose sight of me, perhaps that seed was being cultivated.

It's not anyone fault that I don't feel I fit in. It doesn't matter where you are in the world because it's about where you are up here, ' she touched the side of her head lightly. "It's about the other world I inhabit. The world of dreams, hope, imagination and memories. I'm happy up here,' she tapped her temple again and smiled,' and because of that I'm happy up here too.' She held out her arms and displayed the countryside around her...She spoke aloud to herself, her voice was firm and confident.

'To hell with you all. I do believe.'

Life is made up of meetings and partings. People come into your life everyday, you say good morning, you say good evening, some stay for a few minutes, some stay for a few months, some a year, others a whole lifetime. No matter who it is, you meet and then you part. I'm so glad I met you. I'll thank my lucky stars for that. I think I wished for you all of my life. But now it's time for us to part.

No matter how hard you try to wrap yourself in cotton wool, you can still hurt yourself.

With every cloud there's a silver lining but, the truth be told - and I'm a firm believer of the truth - for a while I was struggling with my experience with Elizabeth. I couldn't figure out what I had won, all I could see was that my losing her was one big black stormy cloud. But then I realised that, as every day went by and I thought about her every second and smiled, I knew that meeting her, knowing her and above all loving her, was the biggest lining of all.

Ekam Eveileb.
Make Believe

~~~ excerpt from "If you could see me Now" Cecelia Ahern
Ivan elbisivni & Elizabeth